Being a parent is a tough yet rewarding job. It is very important for both parents to participate in raising the children. Too many times, I hear mothers say "I DO EVERYTHING FOR THE CHILDREN. MY PARTNER DOESN'T DO THIS OR THAT." I am always shocked because even though I am a stay at home mom, my husband does just as much as I do. My husband is the "bread winner" in our family and we love him for that! But, he is also very involved in raising our Queen. Ever since he went back to work after our baby was one week old, I have had night duty and he morning duty. I have always been a night owl who loves to sleep during the day. He is an early riser and loves doing things during the day. Now that my queen sleeps through the night, I still wake up to change her diaper at about 2am so she won't have a soaked diaper. She stays asleep during this process by the way, (I change her in the crib). Then I go back to bed knowing my hubby will take over in the morning. I am also the one who gets up if she cries in the middle of the night when she is sick; unless it is the weekend when we switch duties. I think it is very important for my husband to be well rested for work so he can excel at his job. I have the privilege of napping during the day when my little queen naps.
We also alternate bath duty. One night I give her a bath and get her ready for bed, then the next night it's hubby's turn.
We have always said that we want our children to love us equally and know that no parent is better than the other. My husband is very "nuturing and loving" just like me. I am very "playful and funny" just like my hubby. We do not have roles based on our gender.
I believe that in life, people will do what you allow them to do. So if you allow your partner to get away with coming home from work and not helping with the kids, then why should they change. Being a stay at home mom is very hard. You lack adult contact and coversations. You even lack going outside some days. You are with the child/ren all day. Some times, you need a break to just be alone to relax without having to worry about caring for the baby. My husband knows this. When he gets home from work, he takes right over if there isn't any office work he has to complete. If there is, he finishes up his work and then takes over. He also cooks dinner (almost) every night. I run the house hold operations; like making sure all the laundry is done, all necesseties are in the house (check out my must have list), the bills are paid, food is in the house, dishes are done and he has everything he needs. Sometimes I fall short on my dish and laundry duties and vice versa. It's ok when this happens and we know that.
My hubby has to go away a lot for work and I do not complain because I am not overwhelmed with my mommy duties. Due to his help. Any time he wants to go out with friends, I am ok with that because he is such a great father and hubby! I was raised without having a dad and my hubby was raised without having a mother, but we know how we want to raise our children since we missed out on having both parents. It breaks my heart when people make it sound as though mothers are the most important parent. Both parents are equally important!! When children are raised seeing both parents actively parenting, this will only boost their self-esteem, knowledge and ability to love. When parenting is done postively, so many great things happen for all parties involved.
Single parenting is extremely hard. My mother was a single parent of eight with no daddy involved. She did her best, but she could have used alot of help that she didn't get. Which in turn, affected all of her children's lives.
I hope that everyone reading this demands more from there partners when it comes to paretning. Even if you are no longer together. Your children deserve the best from both parents. Just because one parent is the "bread winner" and the other stays home, that doesn't excuse them from being a parent. Remember, the parent that stays home, is working too. 50/50 parenting is a must if you want the best in life for yourself, family and child!!! Demand equally parenting!